How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 08:50
By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.
By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”
By taking turns talking.
What was the worst spanking you ever got? Why did you get it, and how was it given to you?
By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.
By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.
By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”
By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.
By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.